It is only now that I am a Mum of two children that I can even begin to imagine how hard it was for my mum; ‘super hero’ doesn’t even sum up what she is to me.
Having to grieve is hard enough but to have to stay strong and look after two children on top of that is beyond amazing. I commend any Mum or Dad that have to raise their family, single handed for what ever reason; you are simply wonderful!
Losing a parent is hard whether your a child or an adult. It really is like losing a part of yourself. With being so young I didn’t fully understand why my life had changed so drastically in such a short space of time. My dad had passed away and within weeks we had moved from our family home in Cardiff, all the way to North Yorkshire where my mums family is. I struggled! Not only was my dad gone, but my whole little world had changed.
Growing up wasn’t easy but then again when is it?. My mum gave me and my brother everything, she really did do the best she physically could, but she couldn’t be the father figure a little girl needed. To this day seeing the father daughter relationship that people have breaks my heart and that pain never goes away, you just learn to deal with it.
An event like this definitely does make you stronger but it has also affected me in ways I wish it hadn’t. I have low self esteem and I am constantly scared that people are going to leave me which doesn’t bode well for friendships and relationships. I have had to leave jobs through panic attacks and go through counselling to get to the stage I am today.
I am now however a strong believer in fate. If this event hadn’t happened in my life I wouldn’t be where I am today with an amazing, understanding husband and two beautiful children. I wouldn’t change my life for anything.
I guess I’m writing this blog to show that you can get through the other side of such a life changing event. It’s constant hard work, and it takes time but life does get better, you just have to be kind to yourself and know you are not alone.
I would love to hear any experiences you might of had and how you have got through them 🙂
Until next time
Rachel (baby moose)